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Not Forgetting the Whale John Ironmonger Orion Publishing Group | 2015년 02월

They had reached the churchyard and her hand hit the catch of the gate before he could open it. ‘There are different kinds of truth, you know.’

‘I don’t think so. Truth is truth,’ he said.

‘Truth is beautiful,’ Demelza said, ‘but so are lies. That’s what Emerson said. And do you know what Plato said?’

Joe shook his head.

‘He said poetry is closer than history.’

‘I don’t know what you want of me, Demelza . . .’

She looked at him and gave an exaggerated sigh. ‘I’m trying to help you,’ she said. ‘I just don’t think you realise it yet.’

‘It’s sweet of you.’ He lowered the mattress and took hold of her hand, lifting it gently off the latch. ‘But I don’t need your help.’

‘You don’t want my help,’ she corrected him. ‘But you do need it. I was right about the girl, wasn’t I? The London girl?’

‘Not altogether.’

‘What was her name?’

He paused. ‘Clare.’

‘You misread her, didn’t you, Joe? You wanted more but she wasn’t ready to give it.’

‘Something like that. But that wasn’t what made me leave the City.’

She squeezed his hand. ‘Mallory thinks he understands you. He thinks you’re a City hotshot that just got himself into a spot of bother. He thinks you’re impulsive. He sees you splashing your money around on boxes of beans, giving your fancy car to the vicar, walking out with young Polly, and he thinks you are an overindulged rich boy just down here for an adventure. I’m not saying he doesn’t care for you. I think he does. But he doesn’t understand you, Joe. I do. That’s my profession, you see. That City job doesn’t define who you are. It only tells us what you do for a living. You’re mixed up, Joe Haak. You’re a dreamer. And you’re a romantic. You want to fall in love, and you want it to be hearts and flowers and happily-ever-after. But you’re making the two mistakes that so many romantics make.’

‘Two mistakes?’

‘At least two.’

Demelza possessed the face of someone who knew about love. Joe found his resistance retreating.

‘Tell me what my mistakes are.’

‘Number One,’ she said, her eyes lighting up. ‘You believe in love at first sight.’

Joe laughed at this. ‘Can I believe my ears? A romantic novelist who doesn’t believe in love at first sight? I thought that was the basis for the whole genre.’

‘Oh, Joe, Joe.’ Demelza was shaking her head, her hair swaying across her face. ‘You poor dear boy. You have so much to learn. I certainly believe in lust at first sight. Heaven knows I’ve been guilty of that more times than I can remember. God – it’s the most powerful force on the planet; hard to distinguish from love when you’re the victim, I know. But how many times do you wake up in the morning, look across at the object of your lust, and realise you’re not really in love. True love has to cook slowly. It’s like a recipe. It isn’t a two-minute stir-fry, it’s a long, slow simmer. That’s why you’ve never found love in the City, Joe. You think you want to meet a girl, go to bed, and discover you’re in love. In that order. But it doesn’t work that way.’

‘So I’ve got the recipe wrong?’

‘The best recipe for true love is plenty of time spent in close proximity; plus a little jeopardy to face together.’

‘Proximity and Jeopardy.’ Joe laughed. ‘That’s the Trevarrick secret, is it?’

‘And a generous helping of time. The jeopardy is optional, but it makes for a better story. It’s like the grain of sand in the oyster that creates the pearl.’ She was looking at him with a serious expression. ‘But the time isn’t optional. That’s essential. Human beings aren’t jigsaw pieces. We don’t suddenly come upon someone who happens to be the exact match for us. We need to flex our own personalities and our own lives to accommodate another person. And they have to do the same for us. That takes time. It doesn’t happen at first sight. Don’t make fun of it, Joe.’

‘I’m not.’ Joe lifted the latch, but her hand still forestalled him from opening the gate. ‘I rather like it. Proximity and Jeopardy and a generous dollop of Time. I shall remember that when the right time and right girl come along. But I’m not here looking for love, Demelza. Really I’m not.’

She arched her eyebrows in disbelief. ‘But we’re not done yet,’ she said. ‘We still haven’t discussed your second mistake.’

‘Ah yes.’

‘And this is the more serious one.’

‘And what is it?’

‘You’re chasing the wrong girl’ She released his hand and swung open the gate. ‘Think about it, Joe,’ she said. ‘Think about it’             (p 192~194)